Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Political Ties

By Charlie Parsley

Hasn’t it been confirmed that it was during the 2000 Presidential hoo-ha when the color Red was assigned to Republicans to represent their Soviet-like bloodthirst for control, and Blue was assigned the Democrats because of their mellow benevolence in passing around money to people that haven’t really earned it. The terms Red State and Blue State have since been in use, and the code has subtly transferred itself into other realms of color-scheming. It will likely be denied, but when a politician is to give a speech most certainly some consideration has been given to the color of his or her tie or power suit.

Notice that politician’s neckties are generally solid colored and not striped or patterned. If there is a pattern it is low-key with a dominant background color. News commentators and reporters are more likely to display ties with bold patterns or strong colors outside of the red/blue code. Everyone knows that a loud tie on a politician effects the same consequences as throwing up on a foreign dignitary, stumbling down some steps, growing a beard or smoking a cigarette.

In discussing current State Of The Union Address, a prediction was (correctly) given that Mr. Bush’s tie of choice on Tuesday would be Light Blue. The message although unstated is clear: considering the problems with Iraq, Mr. Bush will set aside the Red tie he has boldly worn throughout his presidency. He is now looking at the Blue ties. Not a confidently deep Blue, but a lighter, gentle Blueness will send a message that may or may not be in his spoken words.

Red and Blue combined creates Purple which is most Un-American. So it may be that Red and Blue will remain forever separated, a boundary delineated with Neutral White. Even now as discussions build about the 2008 election, there is the same old statement thrown around about the people being Ready For A Change because they are tired of Business As Usual. Yet all that will happen is a switch from Red to Blue to Red to Blue to Red to Blue. A political yin-yang.

Reds and Blues are usually evenly divided 50/50 in U.S. representation. It allows for arguing of both sides which often does result in a stalemate of some sort wherein nothing gets done.

Perhaps this is for the best. Definitive decisions really do not need to be made about teaching things in schools or going back to the moon or marriages or abortions or pornography. Let the discussions about them never end.

If the people are ever truly ready for change, this author suggests the color Green. The politics of Green are admirable and deserving of opportunity. The combination Red-Green-Blue is more lively and invigorating than Red-White-Blue. Stars and Trees forever.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

stars & trees forever! amen, charlie!

Wagstaff said...

Very interesting. How do you explain Carter's tie.

Jeffrey said...

How do you explain Carter's tie?

The 70s.

Charlie Parsley said...

Carter's Tie

Jimmy Carter was President in the olden days before the Red-Blue associations were in effect. Having no established codes for politician's ties likely account for all the confusion from that era.

More disturbing than Jimmy Carter's attire is that of Gerald Ford. I have recently found pictures of him wearing plaid suits with polka-dotted ties. Ford is an example of how wardrobe will steal attention aay from other, les obvious issues. Ford's legacy mainly will consist of his outfits and his clumsiness.

As with every other comedian the author anxiously awaits the next person who will be called President because we are all pretty much over Bush at this point.