Saturday, March 03, 2007

The Dude Abides: Another Liverputty Manifesto

Wagstaff posted his manifesto some time back, so I figured I ought to stake out my philosophical ground.

Never trust people who refer to themselves in the third person.

Results matter.

I believe Finknottle has the answers to all my questions, if only I knew how to phrase them.

You can’t say reducing dependency on foreign oil is important, but oppose drilling on domestic soil. Likewise, you can’t make the same statement and ignore funding renewable energy research.

Everyone should move away from their home state for at least part of their early adult life.

If we applied the same policy of engagement with China to Cuba, Fidel and his brother would be over within 18 months.

People have great capacity for change; however, they are not predisposed to it.

I consider myself more closely aligned with the crazy libertarian bastards than with the Democrats.

Supply-side economics is bunk, given that consumer demand accounts for 2/3 of the economy.

Be honest with yourself.

The best thing the government can do to support Americans whose jobs are shipped overseas is to make education more affordable. Our best response to competing with India and China for jobs is to be more flexible and more innovative.

I believe alcoholism is not an excuse for loutish behavior.

Ice-T was the voice of Freedom Williams on C&C Music Factory’s “Gonna Make You Sweat.”

Never say “I love you” if you don’t mean it.

William Shatner is a good example of living well.

The Army is a great place to learn, if you’re fortunate enough to survive.

There are 2 causes for what is considered evil: 1) natural catastrophes, such as tsunamis and tornadoes, which are just a matter of how the world functions 2) free will. The things that people do to each other, and especially children, are a tremendous price to pay for free will. I try not to think too much about whether the good really outweighs the bad.

The Rolling Stones are a better band than the Beatles. Yes, yes, John and Paul are better songwriters, but all around, the Stones are a better overall band.

Life is easier when reason is your guide; unfortunately, you still have to deal with everyone else.

The Fairness Doctrine should be restored by the FCC.

The only way for Hunter S. Thompson to go was suicide.

If those who blocked abortion clinics, harassed abortion providers, and displayed larger-than-life posters of mangled fetuses in front of toy stores put their time and energy into promoting adoption, they would be more effective in eliminating abortions.

Keith Richards must know something about longevity.

Presidential debates should be open to any candidate who can get on the ballot in a majority of states. The candidates should not get the questions in advance.

James Brown was really the Godfather of Funk, not the Godfather of Soul.

I believe that being outwardly religious does not necessarily correlate to being a moral person.

I believe that most companies have lost touch with their customers.

David Lee Roth’s Van Halen was powered by lust; Sammy Hagar’s by romantic love. Both were undone by Eddie’s ego.

This country would be in much better shape if more people were parents to their children. Encouraging that is not the role of the federal government.

I believe the private sector is more efficient than the government at most things. However, it could not have taken on creating the Interstate system.

All great rock and roll bands have an asshole for a front man – see Rolling Stones, The Who, The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Guns N Roses, Nirvana, Van Halen.

Hosni Mubarak occupying the number 1 and number 2 spots in Egypt for 35 years has been bad for that country.

Eventually, everyone’s chickens come home to roost.

I believe that the person who is willing to do the things it takes to become president is not someone who can be a great president.

A single parent can be successful in raising children, but households with two loving parents, regardless of their gender, have an easier time of it.

Colin Powell should have quit before addressing the U.N.

People say that America is too litigious; however, it’s clear the government is not concerned with protecting consumers.

The only people that care about the Palestinians are the Palestinians. Surrounding Arab nations only use them as a negotiating chip when dealing with Israel.

I have great respect for those that live true to their faith.

For all the talk about what the President should or should not do to shore up the economy, the reality is, the American economy is big enough that only drastic measures could have significant impact on it (usually negative).

I believe that there are, indeed, more things on Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in our philosophies.

Putin is a thug.

High school students should be required to take one year of a personal finance class.

Election day should be a national holiday.

The Police should really stop re-uniting.

Americans deserve a 20-year moratorium on Bushes & Clintons.

I am astonished at the resiliency of the American economy.

Cheez-Its and Fitz’s Root Beer are a little bit of Heaven on Earth.

I know Social Security will not be a part of my retirement.

I believe that photographs have tremendous power.

There are still more things for us to learn from Kylie Minogue.


jeffrey said...

William Shatner is a good example of living well. - I suspect I'll be thinking this everytime I see him now.

Keith Richards must know something about longevity. - perhaps the secret of the cockroach?

...the person who is willing to do the things it takes to become president is not someone who can be a great president. - maybe I'm thinking too literally on this, but are you saying that elected presidents are invariably not great? Or are you saying that even presidents by circumstance, such as T.R. or Trumman, did the things, too, which it took to be president - in which case there are no great presidents? And I think I just confused myself with that sentence....

I'm still chewing on the rest.

Edward Copeland said...

I forget who said it but I tend to agree that anyone who sets out to become president has some psychological flaw. No reasonable person would pursue that course.

Wagstaff said...

A lot to digest here. The Police should stop re-uniting? Really?

Dude said...

I wouldn't say the presidential election clause was always in effect, but it certainly applies today. I'm not sure if I would draw the line at the rise of televised debates, or at 24-hour news stations, in which every little flaw was exposed and demanded a counter-attack. Those most likely to get elected are great at the counter-attack, but not necessarily focused on good policy.

A few years back, I was at a small press conference in which local Missouri pols announced their backing of Bill Bradley. I read the bio for Bill Bradley, shook his hand, and thought "He's a good person. Too bad he won't steal the nomination from Al." A few weeks later, he and McCain held a joint conference announcing they would both abstain from negative attacks. And neither got the nomination.

As far as The Police, they have lost any soul they once collectively shared. Sting still detests Stewart Copeland (no relation to Ed), and it shows. (Anyone notice that the older Sting gets, the more he looks like Rutger Hauer?)

Harry L said...

William Shatner is a great example of
an entertainer that has made a career
out of not taking himself seriously. Too bad more actors and musicians don't take his example.

The Rolling Stones were clearly a better band than the Beatles. Most American rock bands since the mid 60's were highly influenced by the Stones' playing.

Ross Ruediger said...

I was looking at the back of my phone book the other day and saw Shatner's puffy face pimping a law firm. This led me to the realization that ol' Bill was the ~perfect~ example of "If you fling enough shit at the wall, sooner or later some of it has to stick".

I think this somehow backs up/ties into your assertion about him, but I can't quite connect the two notions with perfectly dotted "i's" and crossed "t's".

odienator said...

Cheez-Its and Fitz’s Root Beer are a little bit of Heaven on Earth.

Cheez-Its are THE DEVIL!!!!!

And I'll tell you why. Whenever my body craves the salt that it cannot have (because of my high blood pressure) I somehow wind up face down in a box of Cheez-Its, which send my pressure through the stratosphere. If the ocean ever became fresh water, all you'd have to do is dump a coupla boxes of Cheez-Its in it, and then BOOM! Salt water again!

I've never had Fitz Root Beer.

This country would be in much better shape if more people were parents to their children.

Instead of letting the TV raise them.

I like these manifesto thingees. I'd offer Liverputty The OdieNator Manifesto, but the site would probably catch fire.

jeffrey said...

Odie, Liverputty has fire insurance.

odienator said...


Your fire insurance does not cover acts of Odie!

The Geico Gekko