Finknottle misses third fourth deadline in a row

Liverputty is in a pickle. The burden of having a completely unreliable advice columnist is weighing heavily on our finances. Yet, Mr. Finknottle's columns do show promise of turning a profit, if he can file them on a regular basis. The profits can then be used to resolve Mr. Nottle's many legal entanglements, not only with representatives of Christopher Wren, but also with the governments of France and Norway. Perhaps, someday, Finknottle may be able to return to one of those countries without the threat of incarceration.

Pressed with these legal issues, and suffering from a suspended expense account, Mr. Finknottle has committed himself to producing a column for Thursday some time yet specified. Time will tell if you can fulfill his obligations. We ask for patience on behalf of our readers.