Friday, June 16, 2006

Finknottle misses second deadline in a week

Since fulfilling his contractual obligations on Monday, Augustus Finknottle seems to have absconded from his post and has not emerged from hiding in order to adhere to the agreed posting schedule of MWF. Efforts to contact Finknottle have failed, though he has apparently charged large sums to the business account from overseas. Rest assured that we have men on the case and once retrieved, our columnist will be back dispensing advice.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you checked the local opium dens? The corner Starbucks? The area water parks? Dear God, where is he?!!! I am still nursing my wounded heart from his previous snub and now he is missing altogether. Please, come back soon, Mr. Finknottle. As for you, you heartless editor, shame on you.

Jeffrey Hill said...

Of course the opium dens were checked...especially the one where he lives. I'm starting to wish that I'd never won Finknottle in that poker game.

Anonymous said...

Why do I have this feeling that somewhere C-3PO is pinned and Finknottle is chewing out his eye?

Anonymous said...

Hear a rumour he was investigating the mating habits of the Lower Great Plains Spotted Newt in that thriving fun-spot, Slapout, OK.

What a sicko.

R

Anonymous said...

That should have been "Heard"

Damned keyboard

R